I was recently scrolling through my social media, when I came up on a page with a photo holding up a huge stack of reusable diapers. The caption read, “No longer needing these…” I was stunned. Their child was ONE WEEK old! Yes, one week. I was like wait, so I read on to find out about a potty learning technique called Elimination Communication.
According to Andrea Olson of GoDiaperFree.com, Elimination Communication is a “gentle, non-coercive way to respond to a baby’s natural hygiene needs.” It’s a way to learn the signals babies give and act upon those signals. My mind was blown so I did more research. First off, disposable diapers weren’t even invented until the 50’s. What did people do before that? Cloth diapering, going bottomless and chamber pots! Before the disposables were created, children were potty trained by 18 months. Why in the world did we ever stray from that? I mean, studies have noted that diapers in landfills take nearly 500 years to decompose. Thus, creating toxic gasses like methane. All for convenience is my guess (I mean, women were working more out of the home).
Infants communicate their hygiene needs from birth if you truly think about it. Like other mammals, they do not wish to soil themselves or their home place. The more I read, the more I felt sorry for my two year old (who is still potty training). I felt that I had robbed her of the dignity of staying clean. I knew when she was ‘going’ and just watched her do it. Instead of ever thinking, I know she is about to ‘go’ – I should take her to the bathroom. I literally looked her in the face and watched until she was done. Once finished, I cleaned her up……as most parents do these days. Maybe it is a bit of mom guilt of trying to make my life easier by using disposable diapers and being normal. She was trained to go on herself and keep it pushing. She stopped signaling and I stopped noticing. Now, we are trying to teach her what she has done all her life was wrong. I feel awful, but I know better now.
Know Better, Do Better
Luka is going to have a different experience with regards to potty learning. I say potty learning instead of potty training as he has yet to be “trained” to go in his diaper. First off, we have switched to reusables. This helps him to signal before he goes more forcefully as he will feel wet sooner. Secondly, he is learning to eliminate in one area, into one instrument. The baby potty. I know when he wakes that he pees around a minute after. He begins to breathe more heavy and tenses up before #1. For #2, his face will turn a light red, his face will concentrate on one place and he will hold his breath and bear down. Right now, we are mainly catching these pee and poos – part time elimination communication.
It is difficult juggling the household, teleworking, potty training two year old and a 6 month old. For these reasons, we are using the part time elimination communication method. I’d say we are doing a minimalist part time EC. Even though it’s the bare minimum (right now), we have changed less diapers during the day and only change the diaper once through the nights. We have been EC-ing around two weeks and I am beginning to get a good nighttime routine where Luka pees around 3 am and goes back to sleep. Dry baby all night! Those nights are getting more consistent as I learn which restlessness means feeding time and which means potty time. But hey! One diaper change during the night is fine with me 🙂
Once I found out about EC I was so determined to make it work. I even used animal pee pads and watched Luka while he was bottomless to ensure I was getting his cues correctly. Especially since he is an older baby and items are catching his attention more frequently.
Next Steps
The next step for our Elimination Communication journey is to incorporate sign language to Luka’s potty repertoire. We used American Sign Language from birth with Charlotte so it was only natural to continue the process with Luka. He currently signs ‘milk.’ His finger coordination gets better with each passing day. I know it will not be long before he can sign ‘potty’ just as easy. Once that day comes, I think we will be full time using EC. Not only will we have his signals to go off of, but also the sign to reinforce those signals.
The premise of Elimination Communication is not to be coercive. My intuition tells me Luka likes to eliminate his waste in the toilet rather than soil his diaper. It’s a weird feeling for me to have because for recent generations the natural thing to do has been so unnatural. Society and parental guidance has just been to train babies to go in a diaper then train them to do just the opposite with the add on of a toilet.
There is all this information out there about when to potty train, how to follow the lead of your child, how to get your child not to be dependent on diapers, how to help your child understand what the toilet is for, etc. Even after hearing about Elimination Communication the precept felt elusive. I almost gave up before I even started. What pushed me to move forward with trying this olden times (nod to Peppa Pig) way was the problems we have been having with Charlotte going #2 in the toilet. She would rather hide and go in her panties than the toilet. I thought, what if we didn’t grant her the opportunity to do that from birth? What if we acted upon her elimination signals? Would she be having such a difficult time with feeling and understanding that it is OK to use the toilet? I honestly think we wouldn’t be having these unfavorable times because using the toilet would have been her comfort from the start. Even though Luka is already 6 months old, it is not too late to have him acclimated to using the toilet.
The Process
I asserted myself with vigor and confidence. I listened to EC podcasts and YouTube videos. I bought one infant toilet and one toddler toilet. I bought reusable diapers. Cody and I agreed on a game plan and we have been catching Luka’s pees and poos for the last two weeks! It has been an unbelievable experience. Charlotte began to see her baby brother use his toilet and has been more inclined to using hers as well. This experience has been a win all around. We use less wipes and clean less accidents. It will be a total game changer when Luka signs ‘potty’ because anyone will be able to see it and take him to a toilet.
I like the journey we are on. This less stress approach is nice for our household. The one difficulty I have is contributing to a conversation about potty training with other mothers. While Elimination Communication is not new, it is not talked about as freely as is potty training a toddler. It is hard for me to say, yes Charlotte is in the same boat but Luka is not and go on to explain the potty learning style we are using. Writing about it is much more easy. The isolation from feeling like we are the only ones we know doing EC can be overwhelming, but that is not going to stop us from moving forward.
The benefits also outweigh the anxieties I have about speaking of why we use EC with Luka.
- He stays dry longer – thus less chance of diaper rash
- We reduce waste
- We save money
- There is a stronger bond between us as we pick up on his potty tells
- Better understanding of his various cues
- Easier transition of completely using the toilet
I hope this post helps someone else making the jump to using Elimination Communication with their littles. Please don’t hesitate to leave a comment or ask a question about the subject. We could all use some support!